Last week I completed my first interview for The Happy Mindset Show Interview Series. For the first episode I had the pleasure of being joined by Ankush Jain. In the interview Ankush talks about perceived risk, following your heart and learning new skills with a clear mind.
I Feel instead of I am
Prior to becoming a student of state of Mind I would sometimes think that feeling nervous and anxious was OK, however this wouldn't stop me from stressing out about it. I used to have the misunderstanding that if I was feeling nervous or anxious for long enough then that meant that I was a nervous individual. With this misunderstanding came a lot of insecurity and a lot of little self constructed boxes. I couldn't do this or that because I wasn't 'confident enough' to do it or 'what would other people think if I tried to do that?'
What has changed is the fact that I now know that nervousness and anxiety are feeling states, everyone has varying feelings throughout the day because feelings are fleeting, they just want to be felt and move on. This may appear like semantics but there is a world of difference between feeling anxious and being anxious. Thoughts and feelings are temporary, they are what I think and feel rather than who I am. However, being anxious insidiously become part of my personality and who I am and this is simply out of touch with how reality works.
Prior to the interview with Ankush I noticed that I was feeling a little anxious and nervous, however, because I am aware of the fact that my feelings are an expression of my thinking in the moment and nothing else, I realised that I didn't need to read into this. I didn't feel like I needed to feel confident and sure of myself in order to do the interview so I didn't feel the urge to self analyse with questions to the effect of 'why am I feeling anxious?'
When it came time to interview Ankush I didn't have much on my mind. When I was living with the misunderstanding that my feelings were telling me about something other than my thinking in the moment then I would have spent the whole morning creating a narrative around what my feelings meant. This narrative would have led to more errors, distractions and ultimately a lack of human connection. I have no doubt that this narrative would have spilled over into the interview and manifested itself in an internal monologue with leading questions such as 'how am I doing here?' or 'am I looking smart enough?' It is my understanding that the ultimate purpose of an interviewer is to create the necessary conditions where the interviewee can share as much helpful information to the audience as possible. The key ingredient in this equation is the capacity for active listening and I find it extremely hard to listen to another person when I have my own background soundtrack playing over them. Thankfully, because I didn't feel the need to play my own narrative during the interview I was more capable of accepting my own nerves along with asking the best questions that I was capable of asking for that period of 45 minutes.
The Happy Mindset Show Interview Series
Over the coming weeks I am conducting a series of interviews with people in the areas of education and state of Mind. The interview series will explore topics such as understanding how the human mind works, how to learn new skills effectively, tips and advice on diet and sleep along with some learning hacks and shortcuts. The series is due to be released later this year. For updates and related material follow The Happy Mindset Facebook page.