The Encroaching Circle
I think it is worth the ‘effort’ of getting to know oneself, because as Sarah Morse outlined in her recent article This is The Age When We Start To Spend More Time Alone ,alone time only increases as we move beyond our 40’s. In fact she says that our circle of friends peaks at the age of 25.
As we edge toward our 30’s it becomes increasingly apparent to most of us that the circle is closing in. Some people drift, some begin to find their own way, some start families, some focus on career and others travel the world. We reach a stage where we either consciously prioritize or priorities are made for us by default, either way the scope will narrow and the reality that we can’t in fact do everything begins to set in. The one constant we can take from this period of incremental change is that we will always have ourselves.
Phrases like finding yourself or getting to know your true self can seem odd and esoteric. However, I have gradually begun to see that finding ourselves is not a destination that exists out there. There is a great Hindu story that sums up the futility of the outside search that you can read here. Our true nature lies in the space were we relax, breathe and observe. There is no effort in finding ourselves when we know that what we are looking for lies within us. The world often feels like a completely different place when I take a break from my continuous thinking, analyzing, judging, conceptualising and imagining. When you can sit back and observe, you enter a place where you can look at the world with fresh eyes, you can put aside hedonic adaption and appreciate the beauty of living in the real world, a world which serves as the muse to our many man made simulations.
A Path Home
Like most things in life, there are multiple ways of looking at this. However, this isn’t an article about spinning the most useful lie to tell yourself. It isn't a coincidence that as we move through time we also move into spaces of more and more inescapable alone time. Furthermore I don’t think a bleak picture is being painted here, when we move beyond our thinking we can perceive that we have always been alone, out of this awareness we can craft a world of our making and share this world with others. These truths are in fact probably the most constructive lies any human mind could create.
Did you find this blog post useful? What has been your experiences of having a clear mind? If you have any insights, questions or recommendations feel free to leave a comment or drop me an e-mail.